I always wanted to be an actor.

When I heard that we would be making films, my first instinct was to be the main star. Maybe it's the gay in me.

Mariam and I are the only two constant characters in our film. We are lifelong friends who decide to come together as the world is ending to spend a few tranquil moments together before it all comes crashing in on us. Nice, huh? A lot of the lines we had in the film are very dramatic and took a few takes for us to get right. Acting is way more difficult that I thought.

How does anyone decide who is the “best” at acting? We give shiny golden statuettes to those we deem the best, but what does it mean? I think it means who is the most believable. I know that towards the 80’s and 90’s there was a push away from the “larger than life” acting from movies like Sunset Boulevard. The push was towards a more realistic form of acting that made the audience think they were watching real life. I think an actor should do whatever the director wants. After all, they are the ones who were hired, right? I completely understand an artist’s room for interpretation and adjustment, but it should be at the director’s discretion. If they want improvisation and a certain feel to a performance, then they should tell their actor to go for it. In regards to our film we sort of let the actors decide how we wanted to portray the characters. This was mainly because we were slightly insecure in front of the camera and wanted to be sure and make our performances as real as possible.

We mostly stuck to our script when we were filming, but Mariam and I threw in some improvisations. It made it feel much more natural. We both responded well to what each other would actually say instead of what the script told us to say. It’s difficult to play off another actor though. I was never quite sure what she was thinking, even though we discussed before each shot what would go on. When the camera is rolling it suddenly changes everything. It’s funny how much power that little piece of technology has over our minds.

I’m nervous about watching myself on screen in front of other people. I think most new actors probably are. It’s an insecurity that probably won’t ever really go away.